Strength in what remains behind ourinsecurities
JANNA,18 Aaron Beatrice Caihong Cally Daniel Denise Eliz Ferlin Hongwei Janice! Queenie! Rusydi SiewYee Tse Lin Credits ©Glamouresque.	Wednesday, October 27, 2010 like free only Just came back from cell which I overslept for but thank God for my mom who raced there hahahah (my parents drive super duper ultra fast like teenagers don't play play). &hmm I haven't really got fed spiritually in awhile so today was pretty refreshing and we heard alot of new theology which challenged everything we've learnt from since young, puts everything into a whole new perspective. I know I don't talk about God as often as I'd like be it in real life or on my blog because I know how it feels like when people talk to you about something you're not interested in, especially since we're all in this Imma-be-doing-whatever-shit-I-friggin-like-ain't-nobody-gonna-tell-me-what-tah-do phrase, I know this as much as you guys do because I, frankly, really really really dislike correction. Of any kind. I don't like to be told what to do, don't like to be told I'm wrong, don't like to be told to change my way of handling things. This is a really bad habit of mine I seriously need to work on like so proud and ignorant tskkk. But thinking about it why should it be so tough to talk about God? Maybe we're approaching it from a wrong angle. It's like we go around telling people "Hey dude you gotta have God and Jesus if not you gonna die and go to hell! Only because God sent His son Jesus to die for us on the cross will we then accept eternal life. So..... want to accept Christ? " And you expect a positive response from this?! People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care- I'm sure all have heard. So true that's why those people who ultimately start to believe in God are those who experience first hand His overwhelming all-encompassing love that turns their life around. For myself, sad to say, I've never had it this way before. No crazy out of the roof testimony to show how real God is, neither can I say I've seen God physically before so there's really nothing to share about except that God has been good to me since like forever and although He might not be there there (I know how hard this is to dig how on earth can someone exist when the person doesn't take on any physical form, but there's where faith kicks in and inexplicable things + miracles start to surface. But sometimes I don't get it how like almost everyone believes in spirits and ghosts but not in a single almighty God hmmm different minsets I guess) He always works for the good of those who loves Him. My entire life I've known and view things in this fixed way and no other. The problem with born-Christian kids: We always take our salvation for granted. Since we don't have a BC period in our life there's really nothing we can compare our current way of living to, we learn Christianity the textbook way, give model answers, hear every single type of sermon ever preached in all of mankind, memorize verses we live by, be nice to everyone and just basically try to not do anything wrong. Or is it just me? I don't know but I guess I'm the kinda person who doesn't like to be noticed, I don't like to do things out of the ordinary, I just want to be invisible all day long and just blend in with other ordinary folk doing normal things, eating normal things, playing normal things. Then do this every single day until I die and go to heaven. Yes I'm a loser my mindset is very mediocre because I've never really envisioned myself to be doing amazing things or accomplishing great feats, which sometimes I feel is quite sad. Maybe its my family background, the way I've been brought up to always play safe and be normal, get decent grades, have dinner at home everyday, follow all the rules, don't be a rebel. Oh, how did I digress until here?! Rewindddddd. God loves you but no matter what I say it'll just be a whole load of text (I don't think anyone will even read so far LOL but I hope you guys will!) if you don't experience it and get a taste of what its really like. It's so strange (for lack of a better word) how can people believe in something they cannot even see, and how can they keep talking about this God who is love itself? Unconditional love free somemore ley hahaha. To sum up life: You find someone to love who loves you back and claims to want to be with you forever. Next moment he disappears and runs off with some other chick hotter than yourself. You're left drowning in tears agony sorrow hate depression and you take forever to pick yourself up. Before you know it, the cycle repeats itself. Don't you want to know that there's something beyond that to look to when all things human start to fail? It's just like how someone once told me: "Clubbing's fun with all the people and music and dancing. But after the night's over and everyone starts to leave one by one, the entire place transforms and you're left in the silence of the night, standing lone in what used to be a packed full dancefloor. Your soul feels nothing but emptiness and lonliness after all the hype and music switches itself off. And you start wondering Isn't there more to life than this? "